Extra Marital Relationship-Is It Really Extra?

EXTRA MARITAL RELATIONSHIP-the word EXTRA attached to MARITAL RELATIONSHIP has played havoc in the past and is still doing so.We accept extra- "a little more" in everything in fact we want a little more for everything except in a marital relationship!A LITTLE EXTRA FLAVOR IS WELCOMED IN EVERYTHING GOING EXCEPT MARRIAGE!I BUT LET US STOP AND THINK-IS IT REALLY AND ACTUALLY EXTRA OR WE JUST KEEP ON IGNORING FOR OUR CONVENIENCES MAKING IT "EXTRA"!

The entire Universe is entangled or rather entwined into many unsolved questions.A flower when blooms is assured of its destiny i.e. it will bloom,intoxicate and finally meet its inevitable doom, it does not know that its fate is not so simple-before meeting its final doom,it journeys up and down the scale of "destiny"only to be plucked and embellish different occasions-from marriage to death-from temple to graveyard....

A woman when born is declared to grow up and take care of her entire family in the purest way.She is assumed as an epitome of piety,especially in India! But those who have designated this role for her have never ever thought of "the same line of living for themselves"! It the woman who has to shoulder the burden of piety to keep the society free of dirt and germs spreading like an epidemic-men go scot- free!

I have pointed towards a burning topic "Extra Marital Relationships" -Is it justified or not? And if it is there,shouldn't both parties come clean with it to give a "cleaner image"! Why does it happen after all? And if it happens, why do people hide it from their spouses? Why people are so hypocritic in accepting this fact that parallel relationships or  love encounters exist or happen...

So many questions are related to this serious topic that I too sometimes get confused but after working on this topic and coming close to many couples,I realized that it is not only men who are cheating their wives ,IF AT ALL YOU CALL IT CHEATING!,The wives too are straying BUT has anyone wondered why or whether "the straying" factor is a new trend or has it been always there but under wraps and the "recent boldness" to come clean in relationships has made people to turn their heads and give it a serious thought!

If we look back or go down the pages of history, we can learn something interesting from Jayadeva's "GeetGovinda".Radha was married and elder to Lord Krishna but still both of them shared a magical relationship and are worshipped by the entire Human Race.No one knows what became of Radha After Krishna left her-how she fend for herself.Did She have to undergo severe trials of the society as woman is always punished for such deeds or was she then too ,worshipped the way we worship her now? Nothing much is written or found in historical books or inscriptions about this.The only thing which we the Historians ,have relished is their period of love-no one tried to dive into Radha's heart!Like all broken relationship here too "waves of tears and sorrows must have been involved". The Historians actually never tried to look into this aspect of LOVE or extra marital relationship which blossomed wildly and widely,the perfume of which would keep on intoxicating the generations to come!

Lord Krishna's love for Radha is well known but did he ever think how she would have  survived after he left her...The only thing which is appreciable THAT HE DID NOT HIDE HIS LOVE TO A MARRIED WOMAN FROM THE WORLD AND GAVE HER A STATUS WITH HIM BUT here Krishna was unmarried..I wonder what would have been the situation if  he was married too... but in those days such relationships were was allowed and acceptable.He had thousand queens and so did most of his contemporary rulers and men--Polygamy was an accepted phenomenon! In fact I praise Krishna for pronouncing his profound love for his beloved who was not his wife and giving the relationship a sacred platform But Krishna was God-what would the common human being do in such a situation?
READ A LINK OF LOVE(KAMASUTRA)
http://living.oneindia.in/kamasutra/spheres-of-life/rasa-lila-of-lord-krishna.html 


Heart does not think and enter into a relation,it just barges into it without thinking the consequences which can be really be dangerous in today's time.


The children, they say are the worst sufferers in such love triangles or "philandering situations"-BUT I DIFFER-Children always have to leave their parents after a certain age anyhow and if emotional trust is provided to them by either of the parents and counseled to cope the situation in a mature manner,they really come out of everything very quickly an accept as well as adapt themselves to their situations.It is the elders who do not let them accept the situation by inflaming their emotions to take revenge from their spouse!! The party which feels cheated make children their weapons to gain upper hand in such situations-the children are mercilessly dragged into all this.Actually after speaking to many children over this issue, it was shocking that only to give mental support to their parents they became a party in such a tirade-Actually they want an amicable situation either way-In fact to live in a house where parents have abusive relationship or "non-caring attitude" for each other is even  more hated by them.

In most of the talked about divorces we have seen the woman has marched away gloriously with a "fat alimony" leaving the spectators gaping.And have you ever thought that why those straying too, never want a divorce after all-IT IS NOT that they do not want the family or friends to be hurt- but actually it is the comfort zone to which they are so accustomed prevents them from taking any harsh step.So sometimes both the parties we see very conveniently forgive and forget their spouse's mistake(if you think it is) as we have seen in the case of U.S. President Bill Clinton's .

But this doesn't mean that such encounters are going to stop-those who think so are foolish or living in a fool's paradise.The beauty lies in accepting this as another aspect of life and dealing with it in a mature manner.A spouse may force his/her counterpart to detach from a particular relationship but how can she/he determine about probably many other such relationships.


What is required is a proper code of conduct.Relationships are one's own lookout and how one can handle them.It does not mean that I am agreeing to illicit affairs and hooks-I only want to accept people that love can happen anytime and anywhere in life.When such situation arises one has to act tactfully.Separation is not always the solution.No one can give a proper solution or a definite suggestion.The person involved have to themselves adopt a way which can keep everyone happy including him/her. We live few days and those few days too without happiness can make our life a burden for us.Life moves on but happiness does not knock at one's door always-So make everyone happy but do not forget your happiness.
rashmi.

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Love, Lust And Life

To my readers
Thank you for the overwhelming response.
The traffic of this blog surely points towards the "strong global fraternity"shared.
Thank you once again for the keenness shown for an Indian Writer.
This post is going to be  short and crisp.
I hope it will be liked .

What Is Life?

The Perception of life varies from person to person in different eras.Life holds many twisted,hidden as well as straightforward meanings. It is a crossword puzzle which sometimes is so easy to solve and at times remains unsolved for ages-the more we delve into it,the more lost we get. BUT WE ARE HERE TO STAY  AND NOT TO GET LOST.ONE SUCH SITUATION IS TO GET ENTANGLED IN THE MESH OF LOVE AND LUST AND LOSE A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP WHILE SEGREGATING THEM.

I am here discussing two major ingredients of life-love and lust.

The meaning of lust and love is very complicated and intertwined. LOVE surely is of many types i.e.love between siblings ,parents and their children, a ruler and his people BUT THE MOST COMMONLY DISCUSSED is the love between a lover and his beloved.It is generally believed that love is found on a platform which is poles apart from lust. YES TO SOME EXTENT IT IS TRUE BUT ONLY TO SOME EXTENT. Pure LUST is surely a thing commonly found in animals or  animals like humans BUT I have seen that animals who show their lust so vehemently too sometimes have strong affection for their partners.Actually projection of PURE LUST is a trait of an animal and humans who do so are after all not humans but REAL ANIMALS OF STONE AGE. SO WE MUST SHUN ANIMAL LUST-- NOT LUST SEQUINED WITH PEARLS OF LOVE.

BUT LOVE AND LUST CANNOT BE SEGREGATED,THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE-AGREE WITH ME OR DISAGREE. If two people are in love, respect and care for each other,exhibiting passion synonymous to lust is not at all vile.I simply cannot understand  how thinkers keep these two aspects on  different platforms.For them the idea should be to ban lust in objectionable situations-situations where humans cross their boundary to display forceful lust in forced situations-if the lust is not forced and exists between two people, it is an art of love.I agree love is divine-this means- its feeling is divine but at some point it takes the form of beautiful lust i.e.passion- which yearns for love and to yearn or crave for love is not wrong at all-the gods too would stand and vouch for it.WE ARE HUMANS-LETS LIVE LIKE ONE.LETS NOT FORCE OURSELVES ON OTHERS BUT AT THE SAME TIME DO NOT CURB THE PASSIONATE FEELINGS SYNONYMOUS TO LOVE IN YOUR BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP OTHERWISE AN ASPECT OF LIFE WILL REMAIN VACANT.

READ LOVEMAKING OF RADHA KRISHNA
http://living.oneindia.in/kamasutra/spheres-of-life/rasa-lila-of-lord-krishna.html


rashmi

PEER PRESSURE PAINS-TIME TO GIVE IT A SERIOUS THOUGHT!

Peer pressure refers to the influence exerted by a peer group in encouraging a person to change his or her attitudes, values, or behavior in order to conform to group norms. Social groups affected include membership groups, when the individual is "formally" a member (for example, political party, trade union), or a social clique. A person affected by peer pressure may or may not want to belong to these groups. They may also recognize dissociative groups with which they would not wish to associate, and thus they behave adversely concerning that group's behaviors.^{[citation needed]} Peer pressure can cause people to do things they would not normally do, e.g. promote hatred, take drugs, smoke, get a girlfriend, marry, get a job, have children, buy items they don't really need (cars, houses, boats), etc.This is the dictionary meaning of it.

Peer pressure at times can be killing and it is not that only children of High Schools AND Colleges are under going it .Even a three old Sarah wants a doll same as her friend because her "Status " needs A BOOST.

The level of peer influence generally increases as children grow, and resistance to peer influence often declines as children gain independence from the family or caregivers, and before they fully form an adult identity. Pre-school children tend to be the least aware of peer pressure, and are the least influenced by the need to conform. However with more social interactions outside the home and more awareness of others, the influence of peers increases.

Students in Colleges these days don't have only to cope up with studies but to look "handsome","macho" and so on...the list is never ending.Sometimes trivial matters like "teasing"."taunting" which is another form of bullying takes lives of children-either the "silent one ends up his life" or "unbelievable but true takes the life of those bullying him"!

The consequences sometimes are dangerous And Parents ,Teachers,Well Wishers Have To Take Actions Within Time.

Before it is too late the society as a whole has to come forward as a help or else everyday we are reading serious articles on this ever growing issue!We all know this but still think that situations will come under control on its own-we can close our eyes to what is happening in the name of ragging and easing pressure of exams,losing girlfriends,etc.Students resort to uncalled means,like drugs,alcohol,smoking,petty thievery to maintain their lifestyles etc.Who will help such dejected elements?Surely we have to do so-if required medication ,counseling and means to bring them back to mainstream should be adopted.SO GET UP AND BE A HELP BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!

rashmi.