Forgetting First Love-Who Is Asking To?

FIRST LOVE SYNDROME

The sun shone on the fine gravel of the beach and I saw a very distressed woman in her  early forties trying to suppress her "seething sadness".Now you can ask,"how can sadness be seething?" True sadness should be depressed and subdued, something simmering on  low flame, gnawing away the heart gradually ,so how can it be "seething"But, I think her "distressed situation" was seething as her body postures were not at all feigning her fidgety condition! Restlessness spurt from every mannerism of hers! Definitely,she wanted to talk-talk to anybody,even a stranger,but I was not ready to do so because after a tiring conference and satisfying string of events in my life ,I was in no mood to spoil my evening.So the best was to ignore her completely but somewhere in me,my compassion which I had so securely buried under a blanket of current happiness defied me and though I didn't want myself to get bugged but still shifted gradually near her with an inquisitive eye!

Muffling up her reddened face  in her large handkerchief,she looked up to me in despair and hope-despair,as she was quite convinced her life had been a waste-hope .....because, somewhere she thought, I would come,sit beside her and listen her woeful tales. I chided myself for being selfish for overlooking a person "who thought was totally out of repair",not paying heed to her needs!


The tale which she narrated was nothing new or devastating! She was in fact another one suffering from "not being able to forget first love " AHHH!!! How many people would be tortured by this syndrome! I think some take their past affairs as flings or simply a relationship which didn't work and move ahead in life positively,while few not so blessed,dwell in their pasts never look ahead towards all the opportunities life hold for them, always dwelling in it, dooming and shutting the doors of their minds and souls to shimmering rays trying to enter their doomed minds!

I moved towards her a little more convincingly and a little more comfortingly.The story which she narrated but was nothing new,only this that when almost she had reconciled with her situations, she had once again bumped into him accidentally  on the path of life!Now this too didn't seem to me very unusual,as I have come across many people who have been meeting and are friends to their ex!


True everything happens but here the lady seemed adamant not to forget her once short affair which still had great impact on her life,so much so that she wasnot able to concentrate on her home, her children! So I could perceive,she was equally connected to "her home and her children".This was a big respite as after few sessions,I could see, she could be fully cured!EMOTIONAL HEALING IS THE BEST HEALING! Her emotions were just like as depicted in the link below:

http://my.opera.com/Tearx/blog/2008/09/06/learn-to-forget-someone 


I  could see a ray of hope, as she was still attached to her family AND CONVINCED HER SOMEHOW THAT SHE WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE SUFFERING  from this feeling of rejection,loss and despair! Like her,there were many others or probably everyone in his/her life faces this "syndrome" but then why do we have to punish ourselves with a feelings of guilt,despair and rejection.Have we come on this earth only to face 'love syndrome" or there are other aspects of our lives too which need dire attention!

I asked her is she a "coward" or a "valiant?" She seemed baffled and could not get what I meant.I had to be more explicit and quoted Julius Caesar's lines,"Cowards die many times before death,the valiant never taste of death but once!".She seemed to be more puzzled-more baffled!Wiping her non stoppable tears she asked what I actually meant.And my answer was if she was ready to quit everything else in life  to dwell in a state of "REACHING NONSENSE"MOREOVER WHO IS ASKING HER TO FORGET HER FIRST LOVE? SHE  HAS TO HELP HERSELF TO OVERCOME HER PAST AND IF NOT LET THE BEAUTY OF IT FILL HER VERY VALUABLE PRESENT WITH THE  LINGERING FRAGRANCE OF HER PAST LOVE TO ATTAIN SOMETHING POSITIVE ,AS RUNNING AWAY FROM LIFE AND CRIBBING OVER WHAT CANNOT BE ATTAINED ANYMORE IS NOT THE SOLUTION!As life is not very kind and teaches each one of us something !Things seemed to seep into her rock like brain and I took a long breath of relief as I did not want the beautiful evening to slide into oblivion where I too was busy doing calculations of my life.............

However if readers want,they can visit the link below for first love experiences!

LET LOVE FRAGRANCE FUME..READ:
http://rrashmi211.blogspot.com/2010/11/fragrance-fuming.html


http://www.ivillage.com/first-loves-why-we-never-forget-them-0/4-a-283243

OR
http://www.reallove.com/about.asp

rashmi. 

PEER PRESSURE PAINS-TIME TO GIVE IT A SERIOUS THOUGHT!

Peer pressure refers to the influence exerted by a peer group in encouraging a person to change his or her attitudes, values, or behavior in order to conform to group norms. Social groups affected include membership groups, when the individual is "formally" a member (for example, political party, trade union), or a social clique. A person affected by peer pressure may or may not want to belong to these groups. They may also recognize dissociative groups with which they would not wish to associate, and thus they behave adversely concerning that group's behaviors.^{[citation needed]} Peer pressure can cause people to do things they would not normally do, e.g. promote hatred, take drugs, smoke, get a girlfriend, marry, get a job, have children, buy items they don't really need (cars, houses, boats), etc.This is the dictionary meaning of it.

Peer pressure at times can be killing and it is not that only children of High Schools AND Colleges are under going it .Even a three old Sarah wants a doll same as her friend because her "Status " needs A BOOST.

The level of peer influence generally increases as children grow, and resistance to peer influence often declines as children gain independence from the family or caregivers, and before they fully form an adult identity. Pre-school children tend to be the least aware of peer pressure, and are the least influenced by the need to conform. However with more social interactions outside the home and more awareness of others, the influence of peers increases.

Students in Colleges these days don't have only to cope up with studies but to look "handsome","macho" and so on...the list is never ending.Sometimes trivial matters like "teasing"."taunting" which is another form of bullying takes lives of children-either the "silent one ends up his life" or "unbelievable but true takes the life of those bullying him"!

The consequences sometimes are dangerous And Parents ,Teachers,Well Wishers Have To Take Actions Within Time.

Before it is too late the society as a whole has to come forward as a help or else everyday we are reading serious articles on this ever growing issue!We all know this but still think that situations will come under control on its own-we can close our eyes to what is happening in the name of ragging and easing pressure of exams,losing girlfriends,etc.Students resort to uncalled means,like drugs,alcohol,smoking,petty thievery to maintain their lifestyles etc.Who will help such dejected elements?Surely we have to do so-if required medication ,counseling and means to bring them back to mainstream should be adopted.SO GET UP AND BE A HELP BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!

rashmi.